Today would have been my sister's 55th birthday. When my oldest sister turned 40, Lou sent me money to put a photo of Martha in the paper. Being who and what I am, I chose a particularly flattering shot of Martha at about age 3 in the middle of a sneeze. It was hilarious. Or at least Lou and I thought so. Let's be honest, so did everyone else, with the possible exception of the birthday girl. Martha huffed and puffed and promised to get us back. "You just wait until you two turn 40. I'll put a picture of you in the paper and see how you like it."
Lou never turned 40. She missed it by fifteen months. Since then, I've turned 30 and then 40, but nothing happened. The joy had left our family. I liked to think that I kept our family together....since I got along with everyone, including Dee and Greg. The reality, though, was that Janet was our glue. Maybe we didn't all have the same opinion about her, but we all had strong feelings about her, either way. She was the fun one, the one who danced like no one was watching, even when she knew that someone was. I just miss her so damn much.
Especially this year...when we could have put a picture in the paper and wished her a happy 55th. And, because it's been kind of a tough year for me. And I would have liked my big sister around to hang out with, see movies with, plan crazy pranks with.... someone to just talk to. Someone I don't have to be "on" with.
Happy Birthday, Lou! I miss you.
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